Tuesday, June 26, 2012

MACDONALD: Family history makes me sad that Safe Grad may be ...

My dad loved to fish.

He fished so much that in almost every childhood pic?ture I possess, I?m either laid out, hold?ing or standing beside one shimmery rainbow trout or another. (Oh, how he loved the fight in a big, old trout.) As a wee kid, apparently, I was close enough in size to a trophy fish that I was often used as proof of just how big Dad?s prize catches truly were.

When my gentle, troubled dad died in 2000, we tacked a small Gone Fishin? sign to his coffin. My father?s heaven, you see, is a quiet realm of trees and lakes and rivers, a place that allows a man ample opportunity to paddle about in a canoe.

These days, when I think about Dad, I always ? it?s funny how such odd little things can stick with a person ? find myself thinking about a scene in the 1993 movie Mrs. Doubtfire, the one in which Euphegenia matter-of-factly explains her husband?s death by stat?ing, ?He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him."

Given all this, Father?s Day may not seem the best day for me to write about an alcohol-related community issue.

Nonetheless, as I have no father to visit on this special day and, therefore, a few spare hours to fill, it?s what I?m doing.

A recent headline in The Chronicle Herald ? Popularity of Safe Grads on decline: Alcohol plays bigger role among today?s Grade 12 students in N.S. ? was, for obvious reasons, quick to grab my attention.

The article explained how Safe Grad parties, which have historically been held (usually after the official prom) to give high school graduates the opportu?nity to celebrate in a safe, supervised and alcohol-free environment, are being held less and less often due to lack of interest.

Only six of the 15 high schools in the Halifax regional school board district are holding Safe Grad functions this year. Also, it seems that many high school graduates feel they require ? or deserve ? alcohol to celebrate proper?ly.

Before I go further, I?m going to let the school board off the hook and say that nobody within or affiliated with the school system is responsible for how teenagers choose to celebrate graduation.

Although sad, I can understand why so many schools are choosing to let go of the Safe Grad concept, and can only admire all the teachers, students and parent volunteers who continue to stick with it.

However, if a graduate chooses to opt out and instead head out after prom for an all-nighter graduation booze fest in the woods ? or to a parent-sanctioned party in a private home or a hotel room ? there is absolutely nothing any of them can do about that.

I don?t even want to think about what the world will be like, and what I will be able to do, when my own boys graduate high school in a few years time.

At this point, I can only hope that there will be a Safe Grad for them to attend. And then, if there is, I can only hope that they will choose to do so.

To that end, and because I do believe that most of what kids need to learn is best learned within the home, I now find myself doing all that I can to equip my sons with a few useful tools that may (I can only pray and hope) help them to make good decisions about drinking and alcohol.

I am educating them, challenging them, disciplining them, limiting them, and yes, letting them go.

In addition to all this, I talk to them often about my dad ? about how he lived, and how he died.

And every so often, just so that they never forget, I mention just how much I regret that they never got the chance to go fishing with their grandfather.

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